If you follow this blog at all, it should be no surprise to you that I went through a period I like to think now was my "recovering asshole" phase in life. It is frightening how easy it would have been to permanently move in.
But today, there is no other explanation for the series of disconnected and yet on some level, connected events, which got me out of that phase in my life.
The only common string I can find is that all these things materialized during a time I actively believed in a better life. Believed, and then start living it. It was only then the world conspired to make positive things happen. I had to buy into life, but with positive intent. Living what is possible in life, by not buying into the status quo. By believing in and follow others who subscribe to the idea that there is good in all of us.
I had to make a choice to follow the relationships in my life which gate crash my dreams. Not in a negative way. I'm talking about people who are so determined to see me reach them, they will practically help me get there even if they need to push me all the way there.
The ones who are in love with your dreams. Who allow you to stand on their shoulders. People who channel their energy toward making your ideas and goals a reality. The curious individuals in your life, who ask questions and push you to higher places. Not just push, but drag you along. Individuals who leave their positive residue behind long after they depart out of your life.
It breaks the mold of what human nature is expecting of us. To not subscribe to living in status quo mode of expecting the worst from others. To not play the game society is playing.
You need to show you are human. A positive, yet vulnerable, one. It goes against what you think is the answer, and it is exactly why it is the correct path.
It is strange how I never seem to think what would happen and how it will feel once I got here. This place and space where the world makes sense. Where happiness is an actual thing, not just an out of focus picture of what life needs to look like. It is not unlike a dog chasing a car and actually catching it, not sure what to do with it once it happened.
Is this period perfect? Of course not. I still get frustrated with myself. I still get frustrated by others. I still lose my composure. I still catch myself talking negatively about others.
But the intensity and time I allow it to be around is a fraction of what it used to be. The negative residue is easy to get rid of now. It doesn't leave marks now.
There is no reason to dilute your dreams and humanity for anyone, hence the words, "on fire". It works both ways. Your accent pulls others around you up. Your fire is the warmth for whoever cares to bask next to it. It can't just glow, it needs to be alive with energy.
It is about living in such a way, the residue you leave behind on others makes a positive dent in their world. For now, I'm fearless in pursuit of people and ideas which set my soul on fire.