For some time I had one rule when it came to races, and that is never to re-enter the same event more than once. There is too much on offer to redo and relive the same things over and over. I have however of late been breaking this rule on a grand scale. On a completely subconscious level, I've been backtracking into the past. I've found myself returning to things I've already completed without a clear idea of why I'm repeating them. Even a race I always referred to privately as "the event not to be mentioned" will be making a second appearance at some point in the future. The result of which I see now is interesting and unexpected.
Instead of despairing about what I find about the past, a feeling of happiness is replacing my previous memories. What I'm finding is that I've experienced all these amazing things at a time when I wasn't ready to appreciate them. I was still too stubborn to see. Seems I'm revisiting the past to set things right.
Yes I know I can't relive my entire past, but I can revisit the things which should have mattered most a second time. To experience exceptional things from the past a second time around, because it deserves the attention. There is a greater chance of seeing the beauty it offers because there are fewer things distracting one's mind the second time around. The effect of which is training my mind to notice these things now the first time around.
There is one thing I'm certain about at the moment. Backtracking now and repeating the past, is setting up a brighter future. I'm returning to the past to experience the good in life and I'm finding a lot more than I've ever bargained for in return. It is helping me find my path in life again. To experience the same things with a completely different outcome confirms one thing. The past never fails to leave change in its wake. I'm a different person than before and it is all thanks to the past. For once in a long time in my life, that is a good thing to say about the present and future.