It is crazy how absent we can be from our lives if we want to. It takes almost no effort from our part to accomplish it. Because as soon as you become ascent from it, others will take over your life for you, and live it on your behalf. Don't let this happen. You will be fighting an uphill battle to be authentic. It takes waking up and be deliberate about the day ahead of you. Everyday and each day that you get. I have for the last few months disappeared from almost everything to find out what I want my life to be about. About finding out what I would miss, if there was nothing else to let go of any more. And only keeping the things that I actually missed after a few day or weeks.
“If you can't figure out what you were meant to do in this life, figure out what you were meant to do in this moment.” ― Shira Tamir
It opened up the opportunity to focus only on a few things. About being a meaningful specific, instead of a wondering buffoon regarding my life. It has led to a point where by this time next week, I will be done with the first draft of a story I hope would help a few people find an easier way through life. About my own struggles with keeping up with the world, and how staying active has helped me through it. It involves stories of nearly running off cliffs for no apparent reason and becoming a close friend with something resembling insomnia for a while. Below is a small piece that may make it into the final product:
"I’m lucky enough now to already be some distance down this road. I had to fight for the time. There is a pendulum that I needed to stop first. My life was heading in the wrong direction. And it takes an incredible amount of energy and focus to stop its momentum. But it is moving in a different direction now. It is still slow, but I know if I keep my commitment, the momentum has to speed up at some point. I’m failing everyday now at things that I love doing. It is awesome to fail at these things, because they are my choice. My crooked toys that I created. They are little trophies that remind me everyday that it was made during a time when I didn’t have to say “and then I’ll be happy”."
I'm hoping that by the middle of this year, this story can have at least some kind of impact to help with your own road to finding happiness. Even if it is just to laugh at the craziness of it all..